Helen E. Johnson | Christine Schelhas-Miller
Parenting a college-bound student is a tricky business--combining your emotional and financial support with your child's newfound independence can seem nearly impossible. The authors of
Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money are all too familiar with these difficulties and have created a practical guide that addresses specific situations and provides effective guidelines for changing the parent-child relationship. Topics are addressed frankly, and many parents may have trouble reading the sections concerning controversial subjects such as drug and alcohol use, birth control, homosexuality, and changes in religious and political beliefs. The emphasis here is not on changing your kid's mind about any of these things, but rather how parents can approach these sensitive topics while maintaining a positive and honest relationship. Most pages contain small text boxes highlighting what's on your mind and what's on your child's mind, as well as practical lists suggesting what to do and what to avoid, and these can be extremely helpful as a quick reference when faced with a sudden announcement from your student who's decided to change majors, stop living in the dorm, or study abroad.
With a down-to-earth tone and clear insight into the minds of both parents and college students, this is an easy-to-read book that manages to handle difficult topics without preaching or downplaying important events. Ultimately, this book aims to help parents and their nearly adult children make the transition to a new kind of relationship, ideally one that is open and mutually respectful. With careful reading and consideration, the suggestions presented will help create a handy road map to lead you through the twists and turns of parenting your college student. --Jill Lightner
1 Just what the doctor ordered
If Dr. Spock were alive he would have approved of this book. This is one of the few good parenting books dealing with "almost adult" children not living at home. It showed me that one of the hardest things a parent has to do is to let go of active parenting (ie, telling them what to do) and adopt a posture of mentoring with their college-aged child. Why was this so hard? We do it with other adults all time. This book gave me "permission" to stop worrying about letting my child make decisions which affect her life (and not necessarily mine). Once I read the scenarios (which are all too real) and the different approaches to responses, I found myself much more comfortable with the idea of helping her to determine her own fate -- one of her choosing and not of mine. Yes, it still takes practice and yes, sometimes I am holding my tongue (and choking on my response), but our relationship is better and she is becoming her own woman instead of a mini-clone of me. Guess what? Now that I am not judgemental or authorative she is telling me so much more. Now THAT'S an improvement!
2 Great book!
This book is great for parents. It offers realistic advice! I am the author of The ABC's of College Life, which is a street-smart guide for teens. I consider this book the street-smart guide for the 'rents!
3 A great book for any parent with kids in college.
As a very protective parent I wanted to read all I could about my daughters up in coming experience at college. I myself never attend college and this book gave me so much insight. I appreciate the author?s candid talk about difficult topics such as alcohol and drugs. I felt at ease after reading it. I recommend this book to everyone I know with kids heading off to college. I also purchased and read Major In Success by Patrick Combs and it was the perfect book for my daughter. Don?t Tell Me What To Do Just Send Money was a great book for me and Major In Success was perfect for my daughter. It gave her all the advice she needed to make the most of her college experience.
4 A Great Find!
After reading 4 to 5 various books similar to this topic I wished that I would have read this one first. It covers it all! A very thorough book full of insights into parenting during this questionable time of your childs life. I love the "What to Do" and "What Not to Do" sections and also the "What You Are Thinking" and "What Your Child is Thinking". My daughter is now a freshman at UF and this book was very affirming as I reflected back and found out that YES....this is NORMAL! This would of been the only book I bought and spent my time reading IF only I would have found it sooner. It will truly serve as a reference and I will keep it close at hand so I can flip through the index to find the current "crisis" explained and get insights as to how to handle. I plan on purchasing this book for graduation gifts for the parents of those children graduating from High School. It is a MUST read!
5 Excellent!
Wonderful, practical advice with multiple perspectives. I have just left our son at college with the brief, dignified good-bye as suggested by the authors. Rapidly reading the next chapters in anticipation of the phone calls and visits to come. Even though this was our second child off to collge, I found the information enormously helpful. Am ordering copies for all my friends in the same situaton.
6 Loved it!
Fabulous book! Easy to read and very helpful.
7 An easy-to-read guide!
This is a very helpful guide -- I found the organization really simple and easy to work through, and the real-life examples made it all that much clearer to me.
I've often been afraid that my kids are growing apart from me -- one's in college now, and the other will be going soon. Now I have some great ideas on how my relationship with them can change and become a true adult relationship -- without losing my little girls completely!
I recommend this one for all parents -- whether your kid is ready for college, already in college, or thinking about college in a few years. This will really help you to be a parent who can HELP your kids, instead of just pressuring them and making them feel torn apart by the big adjustment away from the family.
