The Arbinger Institute
1 Exposing Self Deception
The title of this book should probably be Self Deception and Leadership since the book focuses more on self deception than it does leadership. This in no way, however, diminishes the value of this book. Whether it is due to the story based format, the ease with which it reads, or its valuable content I am not sure, but this is one of those rare books that once you start reading, you can't put it down. What a gem to add to my library on self deception.
As someone who works in the area of personal development, I certainly see how the pervasiveness of self deception impacts our lives daily. This book is a great introduction to the issue of self deception. I personally believe everyone, not just leaders, can and will benefit from reading this book. I highly recommend it.
According to the information in the back of the book about the Arbinger Institute, this book introduces Phase 1 of Arbinger's 3 Phase System. I can't wait to learn about phases 2 and 3.
2 Can't understand the negativism?
You know, there are some platitudes in here. You could even say both "do unto others" or worse, "love your neighbor as yourself" appears without solicitation. Here's my response to those who criticize 'self deception' for those reasons.
So what?
The fact is that we are frequently, unintentionally, racist, sexist, ageist, and homophobic. If there's something that's out there that makes us recognize that (I'm going to say "recognize;" Changing is up to you) bring it on.
We reviewed a book a few months ago, "Younger Next Year," about hitting fifty and keeping on exercising, being faithful and eating nutritionally. Holy Cow. The protest over the simplicity of a style of living. If it works for you, do it. What do you have to lose?
Self Deception asks you to analyze those intimate and working relationships you have and to juxtapose how you see those people (with whom you are speaking) with how you see yourself. Do you give them the same right to pursue happiness, comfort , safety and human warmth that you give yourself? Do you acknowledge that they have the same fears and anxieties that you do?
I use Self Deception as a secondary text in a Leadership course. Yeah. Some people don't want to buy into it.
But I do. 5 strs. Larry Scantlebury
3 What a pile of manure
While reading the book, you're impresssed with how well they can put into words the problems you have, and have seen the effects of. You realize how you definitely have been deceiving yourself, and you enjoy the story that's made up to put the message across.
Then you reach the end. You realize that this is part one of a three parter. You find out part 2 and 3 don't exist, and this book covers nothing about being a leader. That's in parts 2 and/or 3. Then you go to arbinger's website, and see what they're selling, and realize that this book is only a sales brochure, to get you and your company to buy into seminars and classes for the rest of it. The book should've been called "How to become a good drone", because it covers NOTHING in the way of leadership. It just covers how to be a good lap dog.
The book covers where the boss (Lou) reprimanded one of his employess (Bud) in such a way that had it been anyone else, Bud would've walked away and quit the job in a huff. But because Lou was "out of the box", Bud didn't quit, he just worked harder. How being "out of the box" applies to leadership .. and not being taken advantage of is NOT covered in this book. But arbinger has seminars on THAT aspect of it, that you can take. For a fee. What a joke.
4 Betrayal of Self and Its Relation to Personal Effectiveness
Many people invest time and money to acquire leadership skills only to fall short. They fall short because they fail to first build a foundation for success that begins with an introspective journey. The Arbinger Institute takes us on this important journey with "Leadership and Self-Deception. This book explores personal, derailing baggage that prevents us from the realization of full potential.
This is one of those very good, infrequent, introspective books that identifies universal baggage we all carry - self-deception, or more appropriately, self-betrayal. It's fable format provides practical solutions in identifying when we are in the "self-betrayal" box, what to do to get out, and how we can keep others from getting us back in.
Now that I am informed, I am very aware of my own need to work on this all important failing. The good news is that I have experienced rewards that come from being "being out of the box" and am motivated to continue my work in this area.
This book is bound to resonate with all.
5 "The 'Golden Rule' in a big nutshell"
The principles in this book are outstanding and timeless. I spend a great deal of time in the box myself. In fact, my boss, as well as any boss would benefit from reading and living the great concepts portrayed in this little book. My gripe about this, and any other modern self-help fable: In finding a solution to the problem at hand, a story can actually twist and turn, masking any real solution, as this book did. I don't mind reading a lot of extra words, but let them coincide with and elaborate on the concepts. The teachings found in this book are profound. The fact that it's written as a story--boo! It's not that I mind reading a lot of extra words. Author, Stephen R. Covey uses excruciating detail in his writing, without writing allegories. So does Brian Tracy, another great author. Another wonderful book on this same basic subject is: The Platinum Rule, by Tony Alessandra. Back to the book at hand: Read it. The advise is great--portrayed in a way unlike any other book on the subject I've read. I highly recommend it.
6 "Simple Truth Miscalled Simplicity" (Sonnet 66)
The most surprising thing about this book is it's format. It follows the Platonic method of dialogue and discussion rather than a strict lecturing.
The books strength is it's focus on lies. All of philosophy focuses on the "is" principle (The Law Of Identity). Therefore, these lies we tell ourselves as the mainspring of all the corruption in the business and organizational realm. This book should be read in tandem with M. Scott Peck's "People Of The Lie." Peck's chapters on "Toward A Psychology Of Evil," and "The Encounter With Evil In Everyday Life" are complimentary to The Arbinger Institute's philosophy.
This book presents an easy and workable flowchart on how to analyze what we are doing . This introspection can be revealing-a bit too revealing at times. However, it is by giving ourselves the Third Degree that we can make progress. What did Socrates say? The unexamined life is not worth living. (Apology, 38a)
Three cautions and a comment.
First is that objectively there are people who are sluffs. TI is not all reducible to our attitude, which would be a type of Solipsistic Fideism. (i.e. whatever you believe becomes reality).
Second, and more importantly, is the problem of human free-will. Therefore no amount of positive thinking can change other people who are sluffs. You have your free-will to try and change them, and they have their free-will to resist you. Nothing we can do can change this-or change them. Couple this with Praeto's 80%-20% principle (20% of the people cause 80% of the problems), and you see how dismal the situation is. However, even in a crash-and0-burn situation, you can go out with a flash like Socrates.
Third-and this problem is common to all self-help books-if you are smart enough to buy this book, you probably don't need it. This is not a paradox, but an instance of "self-authorization." People who are smart and sensitive enough to ask question, or to sincerely want to change themselves are halfway towards the solution.
The comment: One of the reviewers mentioned this as Mormon propaganda. This is false on two accounts. First, The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints (www.mormon.org) does not produce these books, nor does it endorses such books. There is no process of "imprimi posti," "nihil obstat" and "imprimature" that the Roman Catholic Church has. Any member of the Church of Jesus Christ is free to do what he or she wishes to do, and in fact, they are encourage to do so to help perfect the world. It is a moral obligation. But these private endeavors are never considered official.
Second, this attempt to discredit this book by being "Mormon" commits the logical error of "Genetic Fallacy": they are damning the origins of the idea rather than taking the idea on its own merits. Dr. Karl Popper denounced this "psychologism," and said that how an idea comes about is of no importance to the truthfulness of the theory (The Logic Of Scientific Inquiry, 7-9)
So take the book on its own merits and live the principles taught: by its fruits shall ye know.
7 Yuck!
I am not a big fan of business books using the fable/parable approach to begin with, but this was unreadable. The concept of self-deception is a powerful one, but for me, this book is not a tool that I find of value. However, if you really, really like business fables, you might enjoy this as much as some of the other reviewers.
8 Remarkable
So much of this kind of writing is common sense once you're done the book... but this kind of common sense needs to be reinforced over and over again.
Written in an easy to follow narrative you find yourself relating to the main character, coming up with the same questions he has, and feeling the same feelings as he finds the truth about what he is living, feeling & learning.
A quick read and a remarkable look into how you can live & work everday.
9 I suppose it could be useful ...
... but like most "leadership" books, it presents material that is more common sense than anything. However it may be the most obvious things that people overlook.
Nonetheless, the book can inadvertently create even more of "a box" between those who believe in the book's mantra and those who don't. The former will accuse the latter of "being in the box" while the latter may argue how the content oversimplifies things. In reality, like most philosophies, the answer is probably in the middle somewhere. The book recommends that we should evaluate our relationships as those between people, rather than objects, and that any problems we see may really be problems with ourselves. This ignores the fact that there are in reality (albeit hopefully uncommon) low performers, disrespectful, and dishonest people, and sometimes the problem really is with them.
10 Get Out of The BOX
This book is outstanding in helping with judgements and self-deception. The principles are taught and reflected in a business relationship enviorment. The new guy ends up learning how to deal more effectively with people at work and at home.
This book is not just for business people. Leadership of Self-Deception is about every relationship. The story and concepts in the book help to open the veil that covers our minds and hearts which cause difficulties with people.
The ideas within this book take you to the deepest levels of judging and dealing with people. You learn how to change your viewpoint to have healthy vibrant relationships with coworkers, family, friends, and anyone you meet. This book took me to a deeper level then Who Moved My Cheese and The One Minute Manger.
There are twelve inches which seperates are head and heart. This book helps to bridge the gap and open us to better relationships.
11 Hard to Read
I had to force myself to stick with it until the end and the secret is revealed. Long, weak stories aren't really necessary. Why not use short, interesting anecdotes to make your point? It's such a wonderful point. I bought this book and Shar McBee's "To Lead is to Empower" and found her's delivered WAY more than promised. This book left me a little disappointed.
12 A Must for Lovers of Platitudes and Nice Sounding Banalities
This very thin book's premise is that we are mostly trapped in "the box". This is a state of mind where we think of ourselves and not of others. By objectifying others and by filtering our perceptions to protect our self image, we get locked into couterproductive interactions with other people.
It reminded me of two other similar books "Who moved my cheese" and "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". All three books feel life changing and inspiring, but they fail to change lives. The common element is the simplistic notion that one simple thing (or 7 things) is the magic bullet that is going to change everything.
The 'religious' flavour is consistent with the reviews that say "this stuff is all in the bible".
There is no practical advice about how to deal with abusive and exploitative people, how to balance your own needs with the needs of others etc.
I don't dispute the need for everyone to be self aware and aware of their effect on others, to question their assumptions about themselves and to look at themselves as part of a social system. But there are plenty of better books about that. For example "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman - which has much wider applicability than just marriage.
The Arbinger group runs courses and seminars to fill in the blanks. However given the cost of the book it should have more practical detail to deminstrate that this is not just a bunch of nice sounding words.
13 This book saved our marriage
The title of this book is rather misleading. The concepts so clearly and beautifully explained here apply to far more than just leadership. This book would be tremendously helpful to anyone in any sphere of life. My father sent it to us when my husband and I were on the brink of separation. I thought he was way off-base when I first got it, but we both read it to humor him. Once we started, we couldn't put it down. It has transformed both of us and saved our marriage. We're sending it to friends and family for Christmas. Although there's nothing really new, something about the way these ideas are presented enabled us to profoundly alter how we look at ourselves and the way we think about and deal with others. It was as if someone had given me emotional eyeglasses. Suddenly, emotionally complex situations looked clear and simple. Not necessarily easy to remedy, but atleast I could see where I was going. It's hard to imagine anyone this book wouldn't benefit. And, no, I am not related to, nor do I know, anyone associated with this book. It probably won't be as life-changing for everyone else out there, but it's inexpensive, short, and easy to read. Do yourself a favor and get it!
14 Nothing new, but good nonetheless
The way this book presented the idea of in-the-box and out-of-the-box is what makes this book's ideas seem new and cutting edge. However, look deeper into the meaning of the book, and you'll see that you really get nothing more out of this book than if you had read something like the Bible, which has been around a bit longer than the "Box" theory. I am not pushing for everybody to read the Bible, but just to present a perspective on the kinds of ideas you can learn from reading such a widely available religious book that you may already have lying around the house.
For instance, according to this book, you're only really out of the box when you examine yourself and view other people as people and not as mere objects. And looking at the faults of others is of no benefit while examining yourself with a more critical eye can help you get out of the box.
"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye." Luke 6:41-42
In the box, you're forgetting about the plank in your own eye and only noticing the speck in the other person's eye. Therefore, you're not seeing clearly. Because the whole purpose of this book is to allow people to perceive correctly, I believe what this book is trying to say is very simple. As a result, there are any number of ways you can achieve the aims of this book without necessarily following the exact steps laid out in this book to get out of the box.
And the other major precept in this book? Genuinely care enough about others to see them as people, not as objects.
As it turns out, the Bible's greatest commandment is to love God and to love people. To me this means seeing people as they really are and correctly providing for their needs, in essence truly caring for them and not caring for them for your own sake as the book points out.
Understandably, this book took some principles from well-known literature that most are familiar with and repackaged it in a way that seems more profound and applicable to the corporate world. The methods with which Tom the everyman tries to poke holes in the "Box" logic and the way Bud adeptly answers all of them also gives this book an air of scientific and socratic methodology that completely separates this book from any ties to religious literature. Same ideas. Different model.
Don't get me wrong. I agree with what the book is trying to say in that you shouldn't see people as objects, but as people with real needs, hopes, and fears. And perhaps because of the very way it was packaged to reach people who may not otherwise read a more complete book on the "Human Sciences" than the Bible, I think this book did its job and even got its ideas out to people who have a disdain for any religious literature and believe that the Bible is a waste of time for them. Therefore, I laud the Arbinger Institute's marketing strategy of packaging well-known ideas into this product and getting it out to the right people, and I give it 3 stars as a result. All I'm saying is, as far as profound and ground-breaking ideas, you didn't see it here first, folks.
15 Masterful
I have read "Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box" and think it would make the old Sophists of ancient Greece proud, in that it is a masterful quick-fix-remedy and learning experience that provides the subscriber with immediate practical help. I highly recommend this great "how to" get out of the box book. And, if you are really interested in leadership, you "have to" go on to read Remick's "West Point: Character Leadership.." to understand the philosophical basics of leadership, put into plain-speak.
16 trying to live out of the box
An institute is credited as the author of this book. I find it troublesome in a way. It is too impersonal for such a personal topic. I accept that "self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box"". I believe that "when you are in the box you can not focus on the results. Your influence and success will depend on getting out of the box. You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people." The story line moves easily between the business world and one's personal, home life to present these ideas. I would like to thank the author for expressing this in such a compelling fashion. I could almost hug the person whether male or female. But a building? Don't let this trouble you. It is well worth reading. Enjoy!
17 Another Covey-like cult book
I was encouraged to read this book by my boss. I did not enjoy it. Instead coming across as a book that encourages you to improve leadership skills and interpersonal relationships, it came across to me as religious propaganda for some sort of strange "anti-box" cult. The parables read like they are something out of the New Living Bible. If you've read this Leadership book, you'll understand this: Lou is Jesus, Kate and Bud are disciples and Tom is "everyman". To paraphrase a line in the book: Just knowing the word isn't enough, you have to LIVE it! Now does that sound familiar to you who have a religious background? And now that a fellow customer has pointed out that Covey and the Arbinger Institute are Mormon, it's all clear to me. Anybody read Jon Krakaur's "Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith"?
18 In the box
I think the "Light on content" reviewer is in the box! The concepts in this book COULD perhaps be contained in a small pamphlet, but Terry Warner's book guides the reader through useful and practical applications. Most people, including me, cannot simply read a pamphlet and expect the concepts contained therein to immediately change us. This book takes the time to help the reader internalize potentially life-changing ideas.
19 Light on Content
I rarely take the time to write reviews. I'm taking the time to write one for Leadership and Self-Deception because it was such a poor book. The content in this book could have been contained in a pamphlet.
The author takes a story line approach that's excessively long and becomes tiresome. The illustrations should be shortened significantly. There are only a handful of concepts covered; the rest is fluff and a waste of space (and my time). I would have much preferred a book detailing concepts backed by concise illustrations and supporting examples. Rather then using bloated anecdotes, I would have appreciated a more engaging and intellectually stimulating approach. I can't imagine Stephen Covey, who endorsed the book, reading every page cover to cover. There's just not enough content to warrant it.
If you have access to this book free of cost, it's worth a skim. Otherwise, I recommend looking elsewhere.
20 Can change your personal relationships
I was given this book by my mom of all people. At first I didn't want to read it because I thought I wasn't a leader. But this book can change how you look at yourself and other people. Do you see them as pawns in your game or as people with hopes and dreams like you?
I would recommend this book to anyone trying to get along with others, even if they are not the "leader" of a company. It can improve any relationship.
21 The essence of true leadership is revealed
This is a most unusual book on leadership. The premise here is not about leadership approaches, methodologies for managing employees in the workplace, or other business strategy, but is instead a close and powerful look at how we view others and how that view impacts our ability to lead them.
The first unusual aspect of this book is the manner in which it is written. It is basically a novel. It starts with contextual story written in first person, of a man who has recently joined a successful company as an executive and is called in to meet personally with the Company senior leader. From the first few pages I was anticipating and wanting to know what would happen next. It is within this method that the leadership principles are revealed. This is an extremely important way to deliver a message. I know a few people who do not read novels, but stick to non-fiction types of books. This is a tremendous loss, as truth is most eloquently and powerfully conveyed within the context of a story. In the New Testament for example, Jesus taught most powerfully in parables, weaving truth into a common story people could relate to. In that manner this book weaves some powerful messages about leadership into a modern day parable of a business executive.
The concept presented in this book of what leadership is, is also a more unusual one in that the focus is not on "what" we do behaviorally to others, our outward leadership style, as most leadership books focus on, but rather our inward view of these individuals as people. The foundational question is whether we are "in the box" or not. "In the box" refers generally to viewing others as objects through our own biased lens, which often without our knowledge inflates our self-importance while diminishing theirs. When reading this story I couldn't help but draw parallels to companies I have worked for, like GE, where the culture of leadership was in place, but despite all the tools most managers were not effective delivering them. This book will give one explanation on why.
This book is personally challenging, in that the focus is not on how we act in that compartment of our lives called work, but rather who we are in relation to others in our family, our workplace, and strangers in our society. I think that the message here should be experienced, so I will not lay out all the components of the book, but rather encourage you to read to be likewise challenged about your own leadership and approach to others.
One other review here I noticed was titled "could be life changing". I agree. While the basic concept is not new, the packaging of this idea is so eloquently and powerfully done, that I would guess you may also experience some awareness bursts as I did while reading it. I found myself re-examining many aspects of how I lead my team at work, how I interact with peers and co-workers, and how I related to my wife. Simply put, a great book on leadership that would benefit anyone who reads it. Well done.
22 Good Stuff--Not For the Timid
Don't read this book if you're not willing to confront yourself about how you see, feel about and treat others in your life--spouse, boss, children, co-workers, subordinates, the janitor. It's a short and simple book with a surprisingly simple message. You'll find yourself constantly stopping throughout the book to reflect upon some situation you could have, and should have, handled differently by thinking about those involved in a different manner. This is a truly fresh and human approach to leadership and performance. Read it!
23 Mormon connection (almost) ruined it for me...a rebuttal
(rebutal to a posting from "A Reader in St. Louis")
The arguement that because the Arbinger Institute is connected somehow with Mormon Culture should make it somehow distasteful is absolutely absurd and immature. Would one avoid staying in a Marriott Hotel simply because Bill Marriott is Mormon, or argue that Stephen Covey's revered "7 Habits" book is distasteful because Stephen Covey is also Mormon? I must seriously question the intelligence of any person who holds these childish and blatantly prejudiced views. Of course, St. Louis has a long history of people who were blatantly prejudiced against Mormons, doesn't it?
24 You can't go wrong with this book!
There are three types of business books. The first has the literary taste and texture of recycled cardboard, with platitudes as plentiful as the mosquitoes on your last camping trip. Then there are the "empty calorie" books, offering a fleeting sense of exhilaration--that is, until you actually stop to ponder how any of this feel-good nonsense is really going to make a difference in your day-to-day work experience. On occasion, one finds a book that is both pleasing to read and at the same time provides information that can be applied directly to improving one's work performance and enjoyment. Leadership and Self-Deception, by the Arbinger Institute, falls into this latter category.
Although targeted towards the business leader, L&SD explores a fundamental problem that is not necessarily limited to the world of the corporate jungle. The problem, which is both philosophically deep yet surprisingly simple, is self-deception. A founding principle of the book is that we are self-deceived when we have a problem, but don't know that we do, resulting in perceptions and actions that are damaging and counter-productive. L&SD clearly illustrates how we become self-deceived and, more importantly, how we can remove ourselves from this predicament.
L&SD is surprisingly fresh, insightful, and potentially rewarding for those who put the principles into practice. From the preface: "Our experience in teaching about self-deception and its solution is that people find this knowledge liberating. It sharpens vision, reduces feelings of conflict, enlivens the desire for teamwork, redoubles accountability, magnifies the capacity to achieve results, and deepens satisfaction and happiness." This was precisely my experience with reading the book.
25 Powerful, simple and useful for life
"Leadership and Self-Deception" is a must read for professional offices with only a few select team members as well as the largest of corporations. This book could positively influence the future development of economic and leadership theories as a whole because of what it accounts for. Profound.
My business has utilized the Arbinger Institute and this book is just the tip of the iceberg. If you possess any people sense at all, I expect you will thoroughly enjoy this book. It has become my organizational performance handbook. About the negative reviews written, either these readers are ill motivated or they simply failed to track its implications for their lives. No matter their opinion, I remain deeply impressed.
26 Quick Read
Solid ideas about how to build relationships starting with yourself.
27 Not earthshaking, but still a good book
"Most organizational problems - from problems in leadership, to problems in motivation, teamwork, communication, accountability, stress, and so on - are not separate problems at all, but are symptoms of the single problem of self-deception" (from Leadership and Self Deception)
Harsh words? You may think so at first, but by the end of this book you may agree with the authors. The premise is a mental box that we all occupy throughout our lives. How we get there, or get out. What we can't see when we are there, how being 'in the box' affects how we interpret what we see. Our motivations when 'in the box' and how the box affects those we interact with.
The book claims to present "ground breaking" ideas from Dr. Warner's international research team, on par with the ideas advanced by Freud. While I would take issue with that statement, what I thought the book did well was to provide an innovative wrapper for a number of ideas and concepts that have been floating around the world of psychology. The book is an easy read and shouldn't take more than 2-3 hours to complete.
The magic is in the simplicity of the concepts. An easy metaphor to visualize something much more complex. This book won't change your world, but it will give you another way to view how we interact with those around us.
28 Ignore the critics... read this book and decide for yourself
I am an avid reader with well over 900 books in my library that I have read and studied over the years. Because I have been subjected to some garbage printed on what were once perfectly good trees, I am sceptical of most self-help books and concepts. (for instance, I hated "Who Moved My Cheese") However, this book rates in my top 5 for the ability to provide the keys to positive personal transformation. I absolutely love the concept presented in this book. You cannot read it without being changed by it.
The beauty of the concept presented in this easy to read book is that it can be implemented in your life immediately with positive feedback coming instantly. You will not need to get the other people in your life to read this book to make it work for you. Powerfully transforming. I recomend this book without hesitation.
Ignore the negative criticism presented by a few naysayers in the 55 posts below...
29 Mormon connection (almost) ruined it for me
My boss bought a number of copies of this book to distribute among management, and I found the ideas it espoused quite helpful, although the sixth-grade reading level it's written at can be a bit trying at times. The idea that perceiving those you deal with in your daily life as people rather than objects can help you to be more effective is very valid.
Dr. C. Terry Warner, founder of the Arbinger Institute, as well as the Institute itself, are closely linked with BYU and the Mormon community, and when I discovered this after reading the book, it put something of a bad taste in my mouth; I wondered if this was a bonafide business book or simply soft-sell PR for the LDS groups. Simply substitute "in the box" and "out of the box" for "saved" and "sinner" and you have an entirely different book.
Since the book espouses approaches that aren't tied to any specific religion, and since the points it makes are very valid, I'd recommend taking a peek despite the BYU / LDS link.
30 WONDERFUL
As a leader in a spiritual setting I found this book to be thought provoking. In a culture that teaches you to focus on #1, yourself, it is refreshing to read a book that says to do for others is okay. I have thought about myself while reading this book and it has caused to me to re-think and un-learn some things. I recommend this book to anyone who is willing to cahnge their prospective on how they do business. This book can be read by the secular as well as the spiritual.
31 Masterfully Done
I have read this book and I think the old Sophists of ancient Greece would be proud of it. It is masterfully done, especially for those looking for a relatively quick fix. It's a great how-to book on getting "out of the box". I highly recommend it. And, to round out your understanding of the basic philosophies that underpin leadership, I think you should also consider reading the premier book on that called "West Point", by Norman Thomas Remick.
32 Built a company on these ideas
My business partners and I built a healthcare company on the ideas from this book. We are amazed at what it has helped us achieve. The book helps us help people at all levels of our organization conceive business results in a way that helps their co-workers achieve their results. Vigorous collaboration is commonplace among those leaders and teams in our company where principles taught in the book are applied. The proof for us has been in how this kind of collaboration has produced blue-chip results in our individual business units and relative to the industry at large. Careful reading and re-reading of this book has proven better than any productivity, team building, or leadership training we've encountered.
33 Not your ordinary business improvement book!
I must say - I hate to read books that are supposed to improve your business performance. Simply hate them! I was introduced to Leadership and Self-Deception at an unusual place - a church men's breakfast. The fellow giving the devotional talked about this book and was so enthusiastic I picked it up.
To say that I am glad that I did is an understatement. A practical guide to changing one's outlook on life, not just the way one conducts business. This book provides a realistic plan to look at one's self honestly and to begin to see reality as it truly is. So often I look at the world through glasses that are put on to justify my own view. Applying these principles I am beginning to see things as they are.
The principles have improved ALL of my relationships, not just at work, but in every aspect of my life. I treat people better, because I am putting away my views of them that are not honest, but rather would allow me to continue my own world view. I see people as they are and am free to treat them as people, not objects.
Taking to heart the advice of this book will transform readers. This sounds like an unbelievable statement, but it really does do just that!
34 Life changing!
This book is simple and quick reading with profound results. It's like seeing life clearly for the first time. Applying the principles of personal relationships taught in this book will change your life. We really do create our own problems!
35 Potentially life changing...
Powerful insight into human relations. Engaging and thought-provoking. This isn't a book to graze through and put back on the shelf to gather dust. It should be used as a reference book, read more than once as a refresher and to make change a process.
I say it is potentially life changing because it will leave you with the desire to become something great...but puts the challenge back in your hands.
Good leaders will read the book once and think about it. Great leaders will apply the principles and have a tremendous influence in every aspect of life.
Read it...then live it.
(I also highly recommend C. Terry Warner's "Bonds That Make Us Free" as a companion to this book for personal and spiritual growth.)
36 Mind-Blowing Book!!!
This book is totally amazing! I simply couldn't put it down and found myself thinking the same questions as the characters and then loved having them be answered. This material is life-changing and I am recommending it to everyone I know. I wish I had a 100 copies to give to all my friends...
If you have any desire to be more happy, fulfilled, successful, etc, you need to read this book! There are also some other great resources online at http://www.arbinger.com
Have a super day, chad the rad dad
37 Everyone on the planet is a person and has worth
I work really hard to try and stay up-to-date on management thinking in the business world. Unfortunately, the sheer volume of printed words are overwhelming. Once in awhile a book crops up that provides an interesting story, makes me slow down and think as I read, and causes me to reread the entire book numerous times. "Leadership and Self-Deception" is the best book that I have read since "First Break all the Rules."
First of all I appreciate an interesting story. I used to do financial seminars all over the country and found that the one thing that caused people to listen and think about your topic, was a great story. I used to tell the story of how the Coca-Cola company came into existence. By providing the proper amount of detail and the tremendous stock growth punchline, I was able to "hold" the room. Things got quiet and learning started to take place. The same thing happened when I first started read this book. Most of us have had the opportunity to try and fit into a new corporate culture and I found that I was interested in the main character's struggle to fit in and understand what was going on around him. By using a good story I found myself drawn into the book.
Second, I have found that I enjoy a book that makes me slow down when I read and really think about the information that is being presented. Most of my reading is of the skimming variety and to read a book that presents a thought that causes me to slow down, reread, think and reread it again, is rare. I especially enjoy reading for a few minutes and then putting the book down to think of how I would explain this same point using my own words. After all, that is how we truly learn, by teaching others. This book caused me to stop and think several times. Since I read it I have had the opportunity to teach several of the concepts within it to others. During those chats with others, I found myself getting really excited with how the information was being received. The individuals I spoke paused as we were talking to really think through what was being said.
Finally, I have had the book for two weeks and I am on my third reading. I am sure that most of of can remember special books in our lives and this one is definately one of mine.
Pick up a copy and see if the message resonates with you as it did with me.
38 Not Self-Deception, Deception Of Others
Socrates would wince. But, the old Sophists of ancient Greece would say, "well done"! And it IS well done, if you need and are looking for barely more than a sound-bite length, quick-fix for your personality. But, to start with, "LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION" is barely a "book". It's more like a hardcover pamphlet. More important, it's not about leadership. It's another nice little "how-to", based on subjective opinion and psychology. And therefore, ironically, it's out of the "box" through unintentional deception of others --- you, the reader. In my opinion, if you're serious about leadership, the premier "book of leadership" to read is "WEST POINT" by Norman Thomas Remick for anyone in any field of endeavor.
39 Not Self-Deception, Deception Of Others
Socrates would wince. But, the old Sophists of ancient Greece would say, "well done"! And it IS well done, if you need and are looking for barely more than a sound-bite length, quick-fix for your personality. But, to start with, "LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION" is barely a "book". It's more like a hardcover pamphlet. More important, it's not about leadership. It's another nice little "how-to", based on subjective opinion and psychology. And therefore, ironically, it's out of the "box" through unintentional deception of others --- you, the reader. In my opinion, if you're serious about leadership, the premier "book of leadership" to read is "WEST POINT" by Norman Thomas Remick for anyone in any field of endeavor.
40 Great !!! Full of Insights !!!! (Brazilian reader)
This book is excellent for anyone concerned in the basic of relationships and own behavior. Brings a new form of understanding why do we behave the way we do. The consequences. It is not a reciept book, it was made to make you re-analize you own way of thinking = dealing with people. Don't lose it!!!
41 Approach Never Seen Before !!! Read it !!!
A diferent approach to the problem of self-deception make this book really worth it! Self-Deception and its mechanisms are fully described. Lots of examples! Only problem : Could have be written in 25% of the space. (A Brazilian Reader).
42 This is one of the most insightful books I've ever read!
I read on a regular basis and I have rarely found a book that gets to the heart of solving life's challenges like this book does! Perhaps more importantly, the book is written in a way that almost anyone can be provoked by it.
After reading it and sharing it with my wife, we decided to buy numerous copies. We used these to read with our family, including our teenagers and pre-teenagers, and they also found it engaging. We have been loaning these books to friends ever since. The typical reaction we get is that once the person begins to read the book they can't put it down. Then they return the book and go buy their own copy! I highly recommend this book for all audiences.
43 Leadership and Self-Deception
I was on the verge of changing companies when my father gave me a copy of this book. After reading the book, I decided to stay put and make the changes that I learned about in this book. It has had a profound effect on how I interact with co-workers, my wife, and my children.
44 Insightful!
Members of the Arbinger Institute have written an important book that has the potential to change the way you think, behave, and live your life, both personally and professionally. This book simply and effectively addresses a core problem in human nature: self-deception. Presented as a series of conversations between two businessmen, one acting as a mentor to the other, the book walks you through the kinds of events that put you "in the box" of self-deception. Then, the book explains how you can get out of the box and, just as importantly, explains how to avoid getting stuck in the box in the first place. The authors believe that self-deception is at the root of all conflict and lack of productivity. For that reason, we at ... recommend this book to all who are concerned about human motivation.
45 Profound, practical, life-changing
By nature, I'm skeptical. I don't normally gush--about anything. But I'm about to. For both my work life and my home life, this is the most important book I have ever read. I don't think I will ever be the same person again. And I think a lot of people will be quite happy about that. I've purchased dozens of copies for friends and they've all been moved by the book the same way I have. Read and ponder it and you'll do yourself (and others in your life) a big favor.
46 This book is great.
Upon finishing this book, I felt like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning.
47 Excellence book!
I recommend this book to all my friends. This is a book everyone should read. It is not only help for work, but also for your life development.
48 There was light at the end of the tunnel
Mind changing outlook of self by understanding the dynamics. THere are no New Year's resolution needed to treat yourself well, no rules to force yourself into..no pun intended! What a perception, what a whole outlook!
49 Life Changing !
This book will change your life. Not only is it an eye opening juggernaut but it will humble you before your friends, family, and coworkers by helping you realize how you deceive yourself. It is an easy read that you will fly through in a matter of hours. Then you will read it again! Buy this book and pass it on to everyone that you know, especially those you work with!
50 Read Bonds of Anguish, Bonds of Love
Although the writing style left something to be desired, Ifound the principles in the book compelling. I, too, was put off thatthe book only covered the first of three parts. Being squarely in thebox, I thought, "Great, now they are going to sucker me into aseminar!" I was wrong...
In my humble opinion, the Bonds ofAnguish, Bonds of Love book is far superior (in writing style alone)and offers a more detailed explanation of the principles in thisbook...
If you found this book helpful, by all means order the Bondsof Anguish, Bonds of Love.
51 CAN'T GET ENOUGH!!
My husband caught excerpts of this book on-line and got so "hooked" on it, he could not wait for the next chapter to appear, so he special ordered two copies "for the office", sharing one with his boss and co-workers (and me!) and giving the other one to the Plant Manager with his very high recommendations. I am glad to see that it is available for a discounted price from Amazon because I want to give some away -- one to my 24-year old son, for sure! Anyone who cannot find something in this book that changes their lives for the better -- be it personal, spiritual, or professional, is NOT OPEN TO IMPROVING THEMSELVES AND (to quote the book) "IN THE BOX!" -- Julie Lowe
52 Its about who we are and what we can become
The Arbinger Team has done an excellent job of making Terry Warner's concept of self-deception understandable and accessible. A simplified definition of self-deception is when we feel something is right, we don't do it, and we convince ourselves that we are justified in our choice. Examples range from resisting the urge to help a coworker, to withholding needed encouragement and warmth from a child. When we engage in this self-deception, we experience others as objects: as obstacles, stepping stones, or irrelevancies. We are blind to the possibilities beyond this narrow view, and we could call this being "in the box." Perhaps the greatest hope offered by the authors is that getting out of the box is no arduous or monumental or lengthy task, though it often seems so from within our limited perspective. Outside the box, we experience ourselves and others differently, as real people, and our entire world transforms. The applicability of this book goes far beyond management and leadership: it is about who we are, which touches every aspect of our lives. This book will help you to live more true to your deepest sense of right, and more true to others. For those looking for more, additional material on the subject is available through Arbinger, such as an unpublished manuscript and short articles by Warner. The book can be seen as an introduction to these ideas, but can also be applied complete-in-itself. A comparison could be drawn to Stephen R. Covey's writing: though his books point you toward his seminars, you don't have to buy anything else in order to get enormous benefits from the practical concepts.
53 Based on sound principles
I was drawn to buy Leadership and Self-Deception because its sub-title, "Getting Out of the Box," is consistent with my own beliefs about coaching executives.
The scholars at Arbinger Institute have based this book on key questions that can trigger significant change: "How can people simultaneously (1) create their own problems, (2) be unable to see that they are creating their own problems, and yet (3) resist any attempts to help them stop creating those problems?"
These questions are based on sound psychological principles initialy proposed by Gregory Bateson, and developed further by Chris Argyris and by members of the Mental Research Institute at Stanford -- if we can step "out of the box" and see how we contribute to repetitive problem situations, we can change our assumptions and our behaviors and break the cycle of "more of the same." Peter Senge addresses this same dynamic at a systemic level in The Fifth Discipline when he outlines some "systems archetypes."
I have a personal distaste for the way Leadership and Self-Deception is written: the entire book is a story based on rhetorical questions ("Why does the box matter?" "Well...it just... I mean..." "Think about it this way, Tom. When I'm in the box, who or what am I focused on?" "On yourself, I guess.")
Nonetheless, I can see how someone unfamiliar with the concepts would find this an easy read, and I can certainly appreciate how someone could be transformed by the notion of being able to step aside and see our own patterns, how we contribute to the status quo. It is an empowering moment to stop blaming others, to break free from our habitual responses, to shift to a new perspective. And this definitely leads to better leadership.
54 Obviously...
I fail to see how anyone can read this and not be in awe of the material they are learning. I am responsible for Utah/Salt Lake City being in the upper ranks of popularity for this book. After I read it, I bought a couple dozen copies and sold them to anyone that could read. Everyone needs to know this material. As for the reader that didn't get it, read it again. That just shows precisely how deep we can get in the box. There are usually support groups or free seminars on this material, as I have attended such already. The further information the book alludes to IS somewhat of an advertisement for how the authors teach this material - mainly through businesses or through the therapy circuit. The book absolutely fulfills any and all claims made.
55 Left Me Abivalent
I read the Amazon reviews before buying this book and was intrigued by the overwhelming endorsement of most readers. Having had a tendency to look for panaceas--the key to solving all my problems in life--I bought it and began reading it with the usual enthusiasm. By the end I thought, "I've been had." After concluding the presentation of ideas that may or may not be substantial, the author(s) reveal that this is only step one of three, and the remaining steps cost more money, probably much more. It's a little distressing to start a book that offers to provide life-changing principles (with endorsements from big-name corportate trainers like Steven Covey), only to find at the end that I've just joined the feeder group for follow-up seminars. One has to wonder if the book contains in full the answers it seems to promise up front, or do I have to cough up the big bucks to find out how to really apply this stuff? I don't dismiss the validity of the ideas the book contains--I have to test them out in the school of life--but I do think it might be more fair to tell the reader at the outset that this is in essence an advertorial. While it's probably reasonable that the author(s) should get some return on years of cogitation, in its present form it comes across as modern sophism, "We can teach you whatever you need to know--for money."
56 I Have Met the Enemy: Me
Those who think highly of Who Moved My Cheese? will find this book especially valuable as they attempt to understand why so many people create their own problems, are unable to see that they are creating their own problems, and then resist any attempts by others to help them stop this disruptive cycle.
The authors create a hypothetical situation in which a recently hired senior-level executive, Tom Callum, is settling into his new duties at Zagrum Company. He is surprised to learn that part of his orientation involves understanding what is identified to him as "the box." As revealed in the narrative which develops (Tom is the narrator), self-betrayal occurs when we fail to do what we know we should do. Rather than accept responsibility, we blame someone else. As this pattern of self-deception continues, we begin to see the world in a way that justifies us. As a result, whether we realize it or not (probably not), we find ourselves in "the box."
It is important to understand that the box is not a fixed enclosure. People haul it around wherever they go, from one situation to the next, indeed from one job to the next, and from one marriage to the next. At the end of the business day, they take it home with them. I like the box metaphor because it correctly suggests enclosure and captivity. But in a sense, the box also resembles apparel. A raincoat, for example.
Those who are in the box should have two separate but related objectives: Get out of the box and then stay out of the box. How? Good question. Through their skillful presentation of various conversations between and among Tom and his associates at Zagrum Company, the authors answer that question by offering several specific suggestions. It would be inappropriate for me to reveal them now.
But think about it. How many times have you been in this situation? You know what you should do for another person but you don`t do it. This is self-betrayal. (Sound familiar?) Then you devise all manner of self-justifications. Perhaps you have said something to the effect that "It's not my job" or "It's not my responsibility" or "It wouldn't make any difference to her anyway" or "He got what he deserves." This is self-deception.
By the end of the book, Tom has completed Phase 1 of what the authors identify as a three-phase Results System? and we have accompanied him each step of the way. The book ends with much of his personal growth yet to be completed.
At this point, I offer a word of caution: Please do not conclude that this brief commentary reveals everything you need to know about this remarkable book. I urge you to obtain a copy immediately and read it, then re-read it. It can be valuable to your understanding of why so many people create their own problems, are unable and/or unwilling to see that they are creating their own problems, and then resist any attempts by others to help them stop creating those problems.
This book will be even more valuable if you are among them...the "so many people."
57 Get Out Of The Box
My freshman roommate once told me that there are some books so precious to you that you are amazed that you can just buy them at the bookstore for $20 like everyone else. This is one of those books. The ideas in this book are so profound and far-reaching, any reader will be surprised that this is not some famous philosophical work. At first glance the ideas are easy to understand, but on the other hand, you can spend forever just trying to get a grip on them and trying to apply them. A basic sum-up is this: when you treat people like objects, you're in the box. When you sincerely care about their well-being and criticize them only when it is in their best interest (and not just out of vengeance, or to justify your mental picture of them), you are out of the box. All in all, this one makes it into my list of my favorite books ever written. Buy it: you won't be disappointed.
58 Invaluable reading for every philosophy student.
Terry Warner has finally cracked the one riddle that has obsessed philosophers since the time of Thales: How is it possible to get rich from philosophy? Warner takes a handful of ideas from the same college existentialism class that most business majors ran from in terror, and repackages them so skillfully in the language of American corporate capitalism that CEO's now gladly fork over thousands for the privilege of listening to him. Naive philosophy professors everywhere--who actually made their ideas available free of charge, instead of copyrighting them as intellectual property, and setting up consulting firms to manage their distribution--can learn a lot from this book.
59 a tremendous lesson, well developed and clear
a simple little lesson even more fundamental for good and powerful human behavior than the golden rule -- but virtually unknown -- is revealed in this quick reading little story. i wish i'd read it 10 years ago; it's become a favorite among my closest friends and colleagues; it's cultural prerequisite for creating both great companies and superior family dynamics. it could be a little more elegantly written and a few angles could be more profoundly exposed, but all in all its absolutely worth a read. buy, try, enjoy :)
60 Leadership is a state of mind, not a position
This is an outstanding, easy to read book that I found hard to put down. The lesson is told as a short story in a fashion similar to the works of Dr. Ken Blanchard. The story slowly seduces you into realizing the failure of our own mental models that are hurting our effectiveness at work and at home. The author uses a childhood metaphor of a "box" to represent the mental trap that people fall into when interacting with other people. The key is rather simple in theory, but I find the practice difficult. When one has been in a box for years, it is hard to stand outside of the box. This is doubly difficult when others are still in their box while taunting you to return to yours.
If this doesn't make sense, it will after you read this book. The insight is well worth the small price of it. I highly recommend this book.
61 Eye opening! Really worth the money
This is not a typical blah-blah book on skill or management technique. This book really go deep deep into the "heart issue" which is so fundamental before all the skills.
62 Eye opening! Really worth the money
This is not a typical blah-blah book on skill or management technique. This book really go deep deep into the "heart issue" which is so fundamental before all the skills.
63 Best of Breed
I have followed the works of the Arbinger group for years. I have read previous works by them and have seen great changes begin in my life because of these fundamental truths. This newest book has put these bedrock principles into an engaging setting that pulls the reader into himself-letting the material "fit" into one's soul. The revelation of "the box" metaphor is unique in all that I have read over the years. I couldn't recommend a book more highly.
64 Couldn't Put it Down
I defy anyone to put this book down - business leader, parent, or spouse. Fabulous!
65 Powerful Ideas that Work
I must confess that I am familiar with the Arbinger concepts since I was introduced to them over 4 years ago when my son attended a wilderness program that uses these concepts. Like your reviewer Brian Thomas, at first, I was highly sceptical. But I decided that the concepts were worth a try and I put my scepticism aside. The resulting impact on my life and the life of my family has been truly extraordinary.
The publication of this book finally puts Arbinger's concepts into an understandable form. I wish that I had had the benefit of this book when I first started exploring the concepts. It would have helped me considerably. For those familiar with the concepts, the book provides a useful refresher and reminder as we go through our daily struggle to stay "out of the box". This book is worthy of your consideration. I would highly recommend it.
66 Universal application
The concepts presented in this book can be applied universally to business as well as personal life. They are not "quick-fix" solutions focusing on the short-term, but rather an eye-opening experience for long-term results. It is written as if you are right there in the conference room with the main characters, and although it is a page-turner, I found it best to stop and reflect on the parallels and opportunities for application to my own life. Powerful, insightful, and a must-read!
67 Keep a sick-bag near
A classic example of US quasi-religious pop psychology 'let's all get out of the box Brad and run a great company together'. Dreadful - you could drive a bus sideways through its basic principles and psychological flaws. If you're not from the US the last two pages will reacquaint you with whatever you last ate in double-quick time. Scary to see (apart from Stephen Covey)supposedly sane people endorse it. Truly a classic of its genre - so bad it's a treat!
68 Leadership and Self-Deception
This book captures the essence of living with heart in family, community, and vocational settings. I believe it will be one of the most important books of the decade, and believe that the concepts it teaches have the strength and truth in them to transform lives.
69 WOW! If My Company Only Knew
This books brings a totally new meaning for the often used phrase, "Thinking Outside the Box". I currently work for a company where everyone strives to outdo another. Trying to "look good" for the boss or the public, and attending "secret" meetings. Congenial on the surface--as long as we're all part of making money. Now, finally a book that explains what this behavior is all about. The roots of the problem and a clean, unconfusing, non-hyped solution. WOW! My world has changed because of this book. Now I'm not just "Thinking Outside the Box", I'm "Getting Out of the Box" altogether. As a manager, the people I work with are real people--I see them very differently now. Thank you Arbinger! I highly recommend this book.
70 The Essence of Influence and Change
Profound! Just what I have always looked for in a "leadership" book but could never find. I am so impressed by the fact that it is not the typical 'business-acting tips' or 'looking busy and productive 101' book. As I read it, I realized just how far-reaching and powerful these concepts truly are. No part of my life has been untouched; everywhere I turn I can see how this book applies and, most importantly, makes a difference.
I'm convinced that this is where business leaders must start. There is nothing left to say other than simply read the book, you'll love it!
71 Not the typical leadership book
This is a masterful book that shows where businesses really go wrong, and how they can go right. The fascinating thing is, it turns out that what makes businesses go wrong is the same thing that makes families and marriages go wrong, so the same ideas can make them go right.
This is NOT the typical business- or self-help book. It won't give you new tricks or work on your "people skills". In specific, surprising ways, this book will simply help you be a better person. Fantastic!
72 At last: practical principles--personal change.
The Arbinger Institute has made realistic the whole idea ofturning principles or beliefs into practices. This book addresses howour "way of being" with others is more fundamental in fostering success than either knowledge or skills. It shows how, when we are self-deceived, our so-called solutions to corporate or family problems become a feature of the problems we are trying to solve. This book is unparalleled in how it analyzes everyday situations and problems and couples them with uncontrived starting points for solutions. Yet it is not a book of gimmicks and strategies. It is a call to shed our self-deceived notions of ourselves, of others, and of what constitutes honest change and an authentic focus on results. It invites personal change and relates to both business and family. It is already a centerpiece of my work. Thanks, Arbinger.
73 Buy this Book!
Read it, absorb it, ponder it, be changed!
This is a fascinating story illustrating a set of principles which, because of the fundimental truths involved, has the power to change lives. This book reminds me of reading "The Greatest Salesman in the World" and though different in style and scope, should be as big as any of Og Mandino's best-sellers. I believe it will be once the word gets out to those who seek inspiration from the worlds best books.
This isn't just another "how to" type book. I personally found that I have been "in the box" of self deception for much of my life. I didn't realize, until it crystalized on the pages of this book, how much I have been blaming others for that which I should have been accepting responsibility.
I don't consider myself a great leader of men, but this book speaks to me personally and applies to all who have relationships within this great human family.
74 Profound implications in an easy-to-read format
I agree with all the other reviewers that this book goes beyond a business book. The principles in the book are so powerful that you cannot help referring to them constantly in your every day dealings with other people (from family or work).
Written in the same fictional style as some other popular books, like WHO MOVED MY CHEESE, it can be easily read in a couple of hours. However, the truths in it have lasting effect, and definitively change the way you view life.
75 New Paradigm
Before being exposed to this material I thought I knew what a paradigm shift was. But only after experiencing such a pervasive shift in world view am I able to see my old paradigm clearly. I also realize how impoverished my old views were.
Thank you, Arbinger, for this book that strikes at the root of our human condition, and points us toward such a fulfilling path.
76 A must-read for therapists and clients
As a therapist I was pleasantly surprised to find that a book geared towards managers could have such far-reaching implications in my life and the lives of my clients. I believe that the ideas contained in this book could transform the counseling profession. This book is now required reading for all my clients.
77 Caring Attitude vs. Leadership Techniques
Great book. Hard to put down. Easy to think about later at home or at work.
I have learned and practiced many good business management techniques. I have also had techniques used on me and felt manipulated or amused. This book will help me put a priority on a caring attitude first and only then apply, if helpfull to that person, some management techniques.
More important, having read this book, I am aware when I need to get out of the box at home. After reading this book last week, I have already passed it on to two others.
78 What an invitation to humble honesty!
While I have been acquainted with the Arbinger material for 20 years, this book walked me back through many instances in my life when my heart has not been right with others. When I first learned this material, I was startled to discover the part I played with the "problem" people in my life. I liked it better when I thought I was "innocent." The most helpful aspect of the book's material was that it was presented in a way such that I didn't feel to defend myself. Instead, I felt to be completely honest with myself. The material has been encouraging and unsettling at the same time. I learned that I could improve myself and my relationships with others, but also that I had much to improve and repair. The thing I feared most, complete honesty, not just an accurate report of my self-deceived emotions, has turned out to be the most freeing experience. I also learned the meaning of the word, arbinger. It means "a forerunner of better things to come" or "that which precedes great change." P.S. Twenty years ago I had a lot of bad days with only a few good moments. Now I have a lot of good days with only a few bad moments. Thank you again, Arbinger.
79 An Influential Work
This is a book that provides information on the foundational elements of behaviour and thus is applicable to all elements of society. I read it in one sitting on a Saturday night because it grabbed my interest. It's unique content is easily understood and deeply motivational. I believe it will be beneficial in all aspects of life to everyone who reads it. This material can change lives in a positive way!
80 couldn't put it down
This is one of those books that I couldn't put down. It is an easy read, but I find myself thinking about the subject matter in almost all settings. I don't think the content of this book only applies to leadership. It applies to pretty much all of us. I reccomend it highly. I'm tempted to buy a copy for all of my friends and coworkers.
81 NAILING SELF-DECEPTION: Brilliant, powerful, practical
LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION is a "must" read. As a seasoned psychologist and business consultant, I've been looking for this book for 20 years! It is a clear and convincing explanation of the REAL cause of failure in human relationships, whether the relationships are in the board room or the living room. The core concept---self-deception---represents nothing less than a stunning paradigm shift. Simply put: what discovering and treating BACTERIA did to revolutionize medical practice, understanding and treating SELF-DECEPTION will do to revitalize businesses and families. Brief but profound, LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION is a powerful antibiotic for the plague that is decimating businesses and families from the inside. Other approaches are mere ointments by comparison.
82 It's More Than a Book...
Leadership and Self-Deception is more than a book. It's a powerful key to change--personal and professional. Don't expect to read it without being transformed, at least if you read it honestly. It speaks to the heart of human relations isues like not other business book I have encountered. I was stunned, and I'd have to say awakened, by its explanation of interpersonal problems--and I mean the whole range of problems. And I love how the ideas unfold in fiction where I met myself fact to face in the stories of the characters in the book. I truly could not put it down--nor can I resist picking it back up, pondering and applying it. It ranks way at the top of the most powerful life-changing pieces of literature I've read in my lifetime. A must-read for everyone in and outside of business.
83 Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box
This is one of those rare, life-changing books. I could not put it down. Initially thinking it was a book on leadership skills, I soon found it applied in all areas of my life. It is a quick read--written in novel form--but is very thought provoking and insightful. The title is somewhat misleading. I think this is a must-read for everyone: boss, employee, teacher, spouse, parent. I especially think it should be read by anyone who does any counseling. It will forever change the way I look at people and the way I interact with them.
84 Wow!
I love this book! It completely changes the way I view work. Makes me wonder how much time and energy I wasted working in the box!
85 A wonderful surprise
I stumbled on this book one afternoon while looking for something entirely unrelated. But the book called my attention and I started reading it before the book I actually was looking for. Once I started I couldn't put it down. The clear ring of truth was evident as I read the very accessable story. This is nothing short of a transformational book disguised as a business managers guide. Tears came to my eyes as I recognized just a few of my own self deceptions. I had to stop at one point to offer a prayer of thanks to a woman who took care of my children when they were little. She died of cancer last fall and I remembered how the feeling came to me that I should visit her and how that feeling was ignored and the gratitude left unsaid. Even though she is gone now I could no longer ignore that inner urge to tell her how I felt. And that is just the beginning.
