Let's face facts here: You don't watch a movie like
Major Payne for its artistic merit any more than you'd watch
Schindler's List for its comedy. If you go in thinking otherwise, you're bucking for a disappointment. So it's a pleasant surprise to discover that
Major Payne is more entertaining than a barrel full of bad reviews would lead you to believe. It's a totally formulaic comedy about a bunch of misfit kids who turn into a crack squad of skillfully disciplined ROTC cadets, but Damon Wayans is spot-on hilarious in the title role as the hardened military bulldog who whips the little slackers into shape. Wayans plays the role as if killing and warfare were the only joys in life, and when he finds himself cast adrift without a military commission, a scene that directly parodies
Apocalypse Now lets you know that Wayans (who cowrote the script) is going to bring something new to this routine scenario. Major Payne's idea of a good bedtime story is to recall his worst battlefield horrors, and Wayans gives it just the right twist of comedy to put Payne's bullet-pierced heart in the right place--he's really just a good guy with an iron-clad exterior. The young recruits strut their stuff in the final round of their cadet competition (their marching rap is good for a solid laugh), and director Nick Castle keeps it all from becoming too stupid or over the top. It's arguably only for Wayans's most ardent fans, but as a send-up of all the great movie drill instructors,
Major Payne is painlessly enjoyable.
--Jeff Shannon
1 "You'll get no sympathy from me."
"You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between sh_t and syphilis."
Major Benson Winifred Payne is being discharged from the Marines. Payne has been a killing machine for 11 years, however, when he is passed up for promotion he gets discharged. Payne is out of the military for one week and completely flops as a civilian. Payne's former commander finds him a job as a commanding officer of a local school's ROTC program. Of course the students in the program are a bunch or ragtag losers with no discipline or drive to become anything or anyone. Payne utilizes such teaching tools as live grenades, real bullets, and numerous other scare tactics and starts to instill hope that they may win the ROTC state games at the end of the year. Payne is recalled to fight in Bosnia just before the games begin. Will he leave the kids and love of his life to be reinstated in the military and obtain that promotion he was denied before, or will he help the kids win the military games?
"I'm sorry Mr. Handicap man. I did not mean to offend you. Do you understand sign language? Can you read lips? If YOU...don't do what I say...I'm gonna stick my FOOT ...up your @ss."
Nick Castle (The Boy Who Could Fly, Tap, Dennis the Menace) directs Major Payne, my favorite movie of his. Castle is more known for his writing. Castle wrote the screenplays for Escape from New York, Hook, and Escape from LA. Castle does a wonderful job of developing Payne as a character. I am sure Wayans provided a lot of assistance and direction with the character, but the adaptation to the screen was wonderful.
"I said hold it or I'll break it off and kick it around on the ground."
Major Payne is a fantastic film. I remember when I first viewed the film probably ten years ago. I almost died laughing. The film is laugh out loud funny through three-quarters of the film. The film is hilarious while he is whipping the kids into shape. Once the children make their transformation, and Payne is deciding what to do with his life, the film takes a clichˇd detour to the clichˇd ending.
"I'm gonna stick my foot so far up your @ss the water from my knee will quench your thirst."
Major Payne is a must have for MY DVD collection. It is definitely not for everyone. It gets a little clichˇ and more for kids at the end. However, this is a universally funny film. The language is edgy, but the film is definitely intended for all ages. Even if you have no children you can enjoy this film. I recommend at least renting this film.
"Nope, but I can clean your colon out quicker then one of those burritos with extra guacamole sauce."
Grade: B+
2 GREAT Comedy!
Major Payne brings to the screen the story of a US Marine that finds himself in charge of an unlikely group of ROTC cadets, some of which no taller than his knee...
Damon Wayans, and the rest of the cast have truly outdone themselves with their performances, which are exceptional to say the least. All the actors, without exceptions, give it their 100% and it really shows (the chemistry is AMAZING)!
The plot, the setting, the dialogues, the HUMOR, and the music are all EXCELLENT!
In conclusion, Major Payne is a movie guaranteed to provide an evening's entertainment and one to seriously consider adding to your movie collection!
3 Great for JROTC kids!
I love this movie. It's actually my favorite movie considering I relate to it on a personal level. I'm a law enforcement cadet/explorer, so I closely understand the concept of JROTC, as we cadets go through similar experiences. We sometimes go to boot camp together in the same facility, so we would be considered closely related in a sense. Cadet Alex Stone, in the movie, reminds me of my friend Jeff who is also a law enforcement cadet. I see himself in the character of cadet Stone, which makes the movie even closer to me. I bet any cadet would enjoy this movie!
4 the best
This is probable one of the best movies ever produced. Its not appropriate for little kids but 13 and up it is a must see
5 a pretty cool movie
theres a marine corps mean ass who was in nam and has some really messed up emotional baggage from the trip.he has to go to a military academy and watch kids all day.hes miserable.there are some hysterical parts like when he shoots the boogey man in the kids closet with a pistol.its a bit of a dark comedy.its the only damon wayans movie i ever liked.theres this chick who tries to bitch whip the mjr and we never really find out if she suceeds.id watch a mjr payne 2.
6 "...and biz - ness - is - goooood!!!"
If there is any movie as funny as this one, I would like to know what it is. This is the funniest movie I know. Damon Wayans is so talented; he is hilarious in this movie. There is not one moment in this movie that is poorly done. It just gets better with repeated viewings. I really didn't Damon Wayans other than by name until I saw this movie.
The kids in this movie are terrific. Their acting is great! They are all grown up now. If you want to see a funny movie, you have got to get this one. A previous writer was right on the money when he said that Major Payne's character is like a cross between Gomer Pyle and Lou Gossett, Jr.'s character as a drill sergeant. This movie is full of fantastic instant-classic lines that I won't give away here. See it!!!
7 Major Payne is Major Funny
I loved this movie and I love Damon Waynes character and I love when he insults peaple expacially when he cracks peaples fingers when they say something is hurting them and he said want me to take your mind off of that.LOL pure funny, worth watching and buying
8 Major Funny
I liked it! I am surprised that no one seems to realize this movie is basically a remake of a Charlton Heston film, The Private War of Major Benson (which you really need to see also). This is an excellent updated version with a happy ending for soldiers as well as the Major! Laugh hard, laugh loud and watch for the cameo by the professional wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow in the "Billy Jack" fight sequence.
9 Major Payne is a Pain in the a**!
I didn't like this movie very much. I like the actor Damon Wayans for the most part, but I don't like this character he plays, I don't like his Homie The Clown character he plays because as Homie The Clown He DOES mess around, this movie had a terrible ending, the only part I like about this guy so far on the big screen is him as that ex-football player on 'The Last Boyscout', that's all so far.
I didn't mind how funny he talked and how cool he seemed for most of the movie here, but I REALLY hated the fact that this was the type of movie cadet kids would hate and a sadistic drill sergeant would enjoy.
I just hated seeing those kids CONSTANTLY getting bashed by that Payne and how the kids never fought back. And there wasn't even a happy ending with anyone of those kids as the sergeant being cool to him in the very end. In 'Stripes' with Bill Murray, it had a feel good ending for the soldier and the sergeant, 'Major Payne' is only a feel good ending for the sergeant, NOT the soldiers.
This had one of those endings that would make the kid only madder.
That damn sergeant laughed sadistically as if he hadn't learned a damn thing from that nice woman trying to change him.
I don't mind a movie too much that bashes someone or a group of people through most of the duration of the movie, but when it doesn't turn out good in the end, then I hate it.
I gave it 2 stars because Damon Wayans played a funny star and he had great potential as an actor to go from that guy in 'The Last Boyscout' to this sadistic guy who talks funny.
I wanted to see the boys get more revenge on him, tell him off more, and maybe all gang up on him, at least fight back hard to make him regret his cruel treatment all in the end at least. But no, they never got even with that S.O.B.
(and that's the bottom line 'cause Steveman said so!)
10 if you where ever in JROTC you've seen this a million times
but this movie is awesomely funny. Major Payne is hilariouse and it teaches us valuable leasons about family and other great leasons like how to take your mind off of pain, the little engine that could, how to get someone out of your closet, and also how to get someone to not hit their wife this movie is great and you need to own it
11 A laugh-riot!
When Major Benson Payne (played by Damon Wayans), a one-man-army in a Marine uniform, is discharged, he needs to find a new life. Given command of the Madison Academy Junior ROTC, he sets out to whip the gang of misfit youths into shape. Used to the toughest discipline and the hardest life, Payne is the children's worst nightmare, and there is nothing they won't do to get rid of him. Along the way, though, Payne and his command all learn a few lessons.
This movie is a laugh-riot! Wayans' Payne is hilarious, being just the right mixture of homicidal maniac and tender father figure, while the ROTC cadets make a perfect foil for the Major. My family have never laughed so hard at a movie as we did at this one, with my son being quite pleased with how the Major deals with a "monster" in a young lad's closet - "If he's still in there, he's not happy!"
This is a great movie, the one caveat being that there are quite a few colorful words tossed around by the Major and the cadets. That said, though, this was a hilarious movie that you and your family will like watching again and again!
12 Funniest movie I have seen
This movie is simply excellent. Damon Wayans achieves to transform a serious subject into a comedy which never offends the USMC. He plays so well that he deserves them.
The soundtrack is so good. Sounds are quite exagerated and thus become funny. For instance, during the Universal opening title when the (r) registred mark symbol appears, you hear a DING ! When Major Payne meets the Madison school headmaster, you can hear all these insects and butterflies (the headmaster loves entomology) flying and buzzing around and over the shaved head of Major Payne. This scene is purely hilarious, one of my favorite moment. I was laughing so much I thought I shall died. Maybe another victim of Major Payne (fortunately not the final one).
The music by Craig Safan is particularly successful and sustains any funny actions, the Aretha Franklin's musics too. It seems obvious Craig Safan enjoyed to create a real musical background that depicts a "cartoon" atmosphere. Sometimes very serious, and few seconds later so funny.
The story is not only comedy but extraordinary rich thanks to the work of Damon Wayans and the cast. One best moment is when Major Payne offers a bullet from his heart to his new "girlfriend" or when Major Payne understands that Cadet Alex Stone wants to push him outside Madison school (Do you want to see me gone?). Only Damon Wayans can play like that (heartily).
The texts are outstanding (even for a french viewer). The american vocabulary is so rich and the art of using it (and expanding it) is so irresistible. I laugh from the first to the last second of Major Payne.
The french translation is also a success even if the task was enormous because there is so much american idioms. Nevertheless, the french dub is really funny. I do prefer the original voice of Damon Wayans because he talks so perfectly as a USMC drill instructor. This man is not an actor, he is a human VTR! He can spend two weeks with Marines and then speaks like them. The french voice is very good but the dub actor was unfortunately unable to complete such performance.
The scene with the hidden man into the closet and how Major Payne definitely "kills" the Tiger's nightmare is a masterpiece.
Nick Castle did one of my favourite movie, forever and I just wanted to thank him and all the cast for giving us such good time.
Vive the USMC, Vive Major Payne, Vive Damon Wayans.
13 Hilarious!!!
When I first saw this on TV, I nearly split my sides laughing and knew I had to get this film! Damon is the funniest military man I have ever seen! You will most likely be hurting from laughing so hard throughout the entire movie. The most funny parts would have to be when the biker dude confronts Major Payne, the peeing-in-the-pants episode concerning the black kid(I gotta go bad! Hod it!), the watering of the cadet's heads and Major Payne telling the black kid his bedtime story (Blood 'n guts everywhere) The acting is surprisingly good for such a ridiculous movie. Definently the best comedy of 1995 and one of the best comedies ever! Check it out. NOW!!!!
14 Heeh heeh heeh! HA heeh heeh heeh! HO heeh heeh heeh!.......
This movie made me laugh so hard I almost went to the Marines. This movie is so funny, I laughed my head off at the part when he tried to get the kid to go to sleep by getting rid of the monster in his closet. This movie makes me wish I had a P.E. teacher just like that. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! "There! If he's still in there, he ain't happy!"
15 FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY
FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY for adults and kids alike I'm 41. I'm ordering my copy now. I could watch it over and over. I might even lend it to my retired Marine Corps Father who I know could appreciate the jokes or my young nephews. It's great to see really funny humour and not the garbage that some hollywood people call funny.
16 Funny Movie!!!
THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN. IT IS FUNNY WHEN THE KIDS TRY TO GET RID OF PAYNE, AND IT BACK FIRES. A MUST SEE!!
17 pipen paynne
major payne is the only army movie i'll wath only a bith woundent wath it me k
18 A movie that former Marines can really appreciate!
As you can see from the previous reviews this is a good movie that will have you laughing out loud. The people though who will really love this movie are the former and present Marines. Those of us who can be included in this latter group will find themselves laughing so hard that at times you will find yourself having to pause the movie to wipe away the tears from your eyes.
Damon Wayans did alot of research for the character that he portrays, which included spending 2 weeks will real Marine Drill instructors. It has paid off well, because everything he does, from his voice cadence to the way he points at someone with his whole hand is completely authentic.
So for all you former "Devil Dogs" out there, buy this movie, you will not be sorry.
19 Major Pain
Damon Wayans is Superb as the Killing Machine Major Benson Wenefred Payne..At a time when there is no more war..Major Payne is offered a job teaching R.O.T.C. at a private school where the kids usually demolish there instuctors..But not Payne ..HE is a comical force to be reccond with..
20 Hilarious
Extremely funny--laugh a minute!
21 So Funny It's Payne-ful!
'Fi, fye, fo, fum, what beanstalk did you fall from?' This movie is from start to finish hilarious! I have seen it a dozen times and I still laugh as though I'm watching it for the first time. There are some real good laughs in the show that will make your sides burn. It's not exactly Monty Python funny, but it's a real enjoyment. I recommend it for anyone who hasn't already had arthritus.
22 Hello, Girlfriend!
Silly and plenty of very funny scenes. Daman Wayans as Major Payne is a cross between Gomer Pyle and Louis Gossett, Jr. in "An Officer and a Gentleman."
23 owk-E dowk-E!!
Major Payne (Damon Wayans) is in the unemployment line, now he must be commander of the Madison Academy Junior ROTC, discepline about 12 young boys, including a little "diaper boy" It's a pretty funny movie, it's rated PG-13, so I can't exactly say it's a kids' movie, though it looks like it is.
24 Hilarious and a good movie
I'm not that big of a Damon Wayans fan, but he does a great job in this movie. He starts a program at a local school for kids who want to be in JROTC. His ultimate goal is to prepare them to win the competition for best cadets in the county JROTC competition that will be held later on. He is real strict on all the kids, so they all want to get rid of him. He has to find a way to get along with the kids while also giving them some discipline.
"Major Payne" is a hilarious movie. While you watch the movie, you'll be laughing a lot, but you'll also see that it's a good movie. I recommend anybody to get "Major Payne."
25 Great comedy for older children and adults!
For anyone who enjoys a great off beat look at a Marine trying to be a hard-nosed instructor to a bunch of "misfit" kids should check this movie out for a good laugh.
I would definately watch this one with kids older than 13! Lots of laughs.
26 first half was great
the first half of this movie was really great, i wont bother to metion all the memorable scenes it has. but the last half was just pure trash, payne who was such a character throughout the first half just plane ran out of material. and the movie also seemed to shift gears from a comedy to some sort of feel-good adolescent drama near the end. truefully i really loved the first half, but that last half was just so bad it totally ruined a movie with so much potential.
27 best movie ever
I really love this movie. I'm myself in Marine Corps JROTC and both of our commanders were in recon. The movie is totally unrealistic but it's a heck lot of fun... I've seen the movie about 20x and I still laugh about every single joke in there...
28 a couple of laughs
how do the Wayan brothers keep making wack movies&tv shows? now once in a while they have there moments but that doesn't happen as much as the wackness they put out.this film is another dud.the Wayans are like Jim Carrey&Adam Sandler i just don't get the appeal.all are very overrated.
29 Karyn Parsons And Damon Wayans Make An Awsome Movie
Karyn Parsons is so hot.The first time I saw her was in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as Hillary Banks.I've been trying to find information on her but I cant find a thing.It's like she's a no named actress.I am making a website on this beautiful actress.If you want me to E-Mail you when my website is launched E-Mail mail@karynparsons.8k.com.
30 A Funny Movie
The movie is about a soldier that likes to kill men.Then when Major Payne doesn't have a job someone lends him one.When he went into Madison School he becomes a major. When he went out to look for his men the men were kids.He made them work very hard. The kids doesn't like him so they try to get rid of him.
31 C-O-L-L-E-C-T
Damon Wayans is funny and a good actor. So somebody give him a job so he can stop doing all those telephone commercials (say butt).
32 A classic comedy movie with a good supply of roaring laughs
I personally found the movie Major Payne to be histerical in some scenes. The introduction scene where the major "meets the troups" is great material with excellent comedic value. The actors all provide a good support for wayans' " eddie murphy" style of comedy. With quick wit and great character acting, this is one comedy film you don't want to miss.
33 Hello from FEEDMBEANS
I think Major Benson Winifred Payne (Damon Wayans) is hilarious. He gets all the attention of shaving the cadets' hair and giving them a hard time. For example, Alex Stone wanted to get rid of Payne in this movie. Payne started calling the green boys, "Turds." He also sees a woman named Emily Walburn (Karyn Parsons). She is a counselor of the school. I would give this movie 3 stars and 2 thumbs-up.
34 Hilarious and you can share it with the kids!
If you liked Blazing Saddles, you will love Major Payne. It takes several viewings to catch all the humor making this a perfect buy. The kids love it and the tears will roll. A definite BUY.
35 Major Payne is a journey of discovery for all involved
Major Payne is a tale of a marine who has to deal with being dismissed from the forces and then is asked to take on the R.O.T.C cadets (the green boys) at Maddison Preportory. He discovers feelings of attatchment to the boys after a few hard months of being a hard ass. love intrest Ms. Whalburgh makes the major realise there may be more to life then the stictness of the Marines. Young cadet tiger wins all our hearts and manages to melt bensons icy exterior. this story is the mac daddy! END
36 Excellent picture. Funny...Damon was superb.
Major Payne is a movie about the Marine in all of us. It starts off with his time in battle and struggles in the Marine Corps.
Major Benson Payne takes a position as the Commandant at Madison Academy. His transformation of the cadets is hilarious. He chews them out for everything and then as a disciplinary action he shaves off all of the cadets hair.
Not only does Damon Wayans portray a motivated Marine full of integrity and honor he displays his human side to Ms. Wallburgh. Who ultimately transforms him into a passionate human being.
Throughout the movie the humor never ends. Damon's use of words and military character make you laugh without end.
If you have ever been in the miltary of know anyone that has been in, then you can relate to this movie.
3-4 star movie that is hilarious.
Damon Waynans did an outstanding job. 2 thumbs up. END
