Karen B. Gelernt

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Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her

husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer!  My joules!  Someone has stolen my

joules!"



"Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux

a moment.  Perhaps they're mislead."



"No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence.  "I remember putting them

in my burette ... We must call a copper."



Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,

said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name

of Lawrence Ium.



"We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and

dangerous.  His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium.  Maybe I can

catch him there."  With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an

activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...

		-- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"





When you are about to do an objective and scientific piece of investigation

of a topic, it is well to gave the answer firmly in hand, so that you can

proceed forthrightly, without being deflected or swayed, directly to the goal.

		-- Amrom Katz